And so to normality…

Ok, so it’s been a month since the miscarriage and I think Auntie Flo is on her way and I appear to have mixed feelings about this. Part of me is devastated and angry as I so DESPERATELY want to be pregnant again (all the positive thinking is helping but I can’t hide from my true feelings), and another part of me is glad my body is returning to normal so that next month I can hopefully be pregnant (being positive there) and my body will be in a good healthy position in order to avoid another miscarriage.

You see there’s a lot of opinions, medically speaking, about when one should try again after a miscarriage. Doctors have been known to recommend leaving it as long as 6 months before trying again, and others say 1 month. The truth is it doesn’t matter physically, as your body will only do what’s right for it anyway. There are people who have fallen immediately after a miscarriage, didn’t even have a period, and had a healthy baby. There are of course others, who fell immediately only to miscarry again, which is why Doctors ask us to wait at least 1 cycle, allowing our bodies to return to normal and be ‘baby ready’. I have been told that leaving it 1 cycle allows the lining to properly restore itself (makes perfect sense), thereby allowing the womb to be perfect. Doctors also want us to deal emotionally with our miscarriages, and not rush into another emotional rollercoaster, and I understand that.

I have dealt with this miscarriage much better than the first one, as it has given me so much hope and spurred me on with the healthy eating and alcohol avoidance (into month 4 now). But I didn’t count on missing the pregnancy symptoms so much! Last years pregnancy was without symptoms, but the February one had them all. I felt sick, my boobs were killing me and my tummy even changed shape, and despite the unpleasantness of these physical feelings…..I really want them back 😦 I think I feel so ready to be pregnant, especially mentally and emotionally, that the frustration and waiting is utterly doing my head in! Even though I am having period symptoms, there is still part of me hoping that they are pregnancy symptoms (as we all know they are pretty much identical, just to confuse us even more!).

So anyway, I know that it’s much better for my body and baby-to-be that I have at least one period before falling again (keep with the positive thinking there Jodie) so this is all fine. It’s also great that I have now got 3 months tea-total under my belt as this is how long it takes for our eggs to mature, meaning that they are as good as they can get from now on. Another achievement is that I’ve lost 4.5 lbs in weight in my first 2 weeks at Weight Watchers, again, all heading in the right direction for a healthy pregnancy. So here I go trying naturally for the first time in several years, having found new hope out of a sad ending. I would say wish me luck, but luck has nothing to do with it, we make our own luck x

Ooh on another note, we saw The Hunger Games at the cinema yesterday and a quote in the film really hit me, so I want to share it with all others who are still trying;

‘The only thing more powerful than fear, is hope’

So ladies, don’t be fearful…..be hopeful 🙂

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