In a dark place..

I’m not having such a great day today. All of my positivity has left me and I am in a big hole of black stuff. I’m angry, frustrated, heartbroken, sad and feel utterly hopeless. I actually feel sick. I’m not proud of how I feel, but it’s completely taken me over and I have no choice but to ride it out. I don’t think I’ll ever be pregnant and I just want to hide under the duvet with a bottle of vodka …. except I can’t can I.

Today I just can’t deal with it all. I have no more ‘coping stuff’ left. It is what it is.

infertility sadness

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9 responses to this post.

  1. Sending you a huge virtual hug because sometimes that’s all we really need. Ride it out and then return to this (I love this thought >) : “I refuse to become sad and miserable, I choose to smile and be positive.
    My thought process is that if I were a baby soul looking for a Mummy…I would definitely pick the happy one.
    Even if she is a bit nutty.”

    M x

    Reply

    • Thanks for that FertilityDoll x I am completely out of sorts and not my ‘norm’ today, it’s been a long week. I thought long and hard about whether to share my negative state on my blog, but decided too as otherwise I wouldn’t be true to myself (or my readers). I am positive and happy 99% of the time….just being a crappy 1% today 🙂 xxx

      Reply

      • We all have our crappy negative ‘oh em gee why oh why universe days?’ I’m all for hiding under the duvet, watching bad 80s films, eating dark chocolate and then coming back to life when the time is right.

        x

      • mmmmmmm…..dark chocolate……I’m so getting some on the way home! When I go to Weight Watchers next week and I’ve put on…it’s your fault 😉

  2. Posted by babysocks2008 on April 26, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    Hi Jodie. Hang in there honey. It seems that a lot of us in our ttc blogosphere are going through a dark time. Too many of the bfp’s from last month are ending too sadly. I wish I had words to make you feel better but I don’t think those word exist (unless they are your pregnant).
    If you can afford it, why not do something nice for yourself and your DH? Maybe buy him a pressie or go out to a nice dinner? Buy yourself the perfume or dress you wanted.
    If you don’t feel up to it just remember tomorrow will come and it will be a new day. Strength you didn’t know you had will arrive, you will breathe in and out, put one foot in front of the other, and hopefully the sun will shine. Much love to you. xoxo

    Reply

  3. Remember the poster of the kitty cat that says “Hang in there”? Thank you for sharing your dark days as well as your happy days. Its all part of the journey….(hugs)

    Reply

  4. hi – i just caught up on a few of your posts and wanted to reach out. i’m sorry you were having a hard day, but like cmd said it is all part of the journey. we’ve all been there and we’ll get through it, together. hang in there….hugs!

    Reply

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