Archive for the ‘Egg Donation’ Category

Assisted Hatching with FET

The last time we saw our clinic we were introduced to the idea of assisted hatching. We have one more attempt left at FET (frozen embryo transfer) and it was advised that we could try AH (assisted hatching) to increase our chances of finally leaving with a baby. I had come across AH in my research but as it had never been recommended to us before hadn’t given it any further thought, but our nurse thinks that it might work for us. She explained that if our embryologist thought our embryos needed an extra push in the right direction, she would perform AH. I say if because AH depends on the outer layer condition of the embryo; if the outer layer looks ‘tough’ then AH is appropriate but if it looks ‘thin’ or ‘fine’ then maybe it isn’t, it’s very much an ‘on the day’ decision. So what exactly is AH? This is what the HFEA state;

Before an embryo can attach to the wall of the womb, it has to break out or ‘hatch’ from its outer layer called the zona pellucida.
It has been suggested that making a hole in or thinning this outer layer may help embryos to ‘hatch’, increasing the chances of the woman becoming pregnant in some cases.

assisted hatching

Ok so that makes sense, although I’d never been aware of that much detail before. I now understand that a small amount of special acid is put on the outer layer to wear it away, allowing the embryo to free itself more easily for implantation. The site continues however, to say…

However, assisted hatching does not improve the quality of embryos.
The NHS guidelines on fertility, issued by NICE (the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence), say:
‘Assisted hatching is not recommended because it has not been shown to improve pregnancy rates.’
The guidelines also mention that further research is needed to find out whether assisted hatching can have an effect on live birth rates and to examine the consequences for children born as a result of this procedure.

Now that statement that it’s not recommended because it has not been shown to improve pregnancy rates worried me if I’m honest. The AH procedure costs an extra £250 and although infertility isn’t about the money….money is important, and we have never had any help from the NHS so we’re skint basically. I then noticed though that the above was dated 27 March 2009! So surely after 3 years there are more facts and findings, and that’s why my clinic are offering it 🙂 Our nurse also said to us that everyone who had been given the AH procedure at their clinic had ended up pregnant. Wow! That’s an awesome statistic. Trouble is I’m the type of person who then thinks ‘ah, so I’m going to be the one that balances out the stats and doesn’t get pregnant’. I don’t mean that to sound negative (I’m a ridiculously positive person) just realistic. All of us on an infertility journey are secretly petrified of the question ‘am I the one who doesn’t make it?’

I am exhausted by the last 6 years. Utterly drained of emotion, fed up of the needles, drugs and scans, and the next attempt will be our last. We are nearing the end of our journey. So if trying AH will help our Potentials to snuggle in and implant then that’s what I’ll do.

Has anyone else tried AH or know anything of interest? Do please share your stories if you have.

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Can you enjoy yourself in the 2WW?

Yeah baby!

2 week wait

Very glamorous!

This is me last night at a friend’s birthday bash down the local pub. It was an AMAZING night! I made lovely new friends, caught up with old ones and took photos of them all. I even had a bit of a boogie which I have really missed since my knee surgery and I love an excuse to shake my tailfeather 😉 During this wonderful evening of karaoke, cake and drunkenness (not mine of course) did I ponder on my 2WW situation…or did I manage to pretend I was someone else for the night? Nah! Of course I thought about my Potentials and how they were getting on; making sure I was drinking enough water, not doing any jumpy movements (I was grooving, not headbanging) and popping outside now and then to get some fresh air and cool down.

A couple of people offered me a drink and when I said “No thank you I’m good, I don’t drink” I noticed that nearly everyone reacts the same way to this statement. A frown. It’s like I’ve just said “Hi I’m actually your future grand-daughter and I’ve hitched a lift with a time traveller just to see you tonight” Saying “No” to an offer of alcohol is just…..unheard of! I used to be a HUGE drinker, loved my booze, and I’m trying to remember if this is how I reacted to tea-totallers? The reality is I probably did and I think it’s because drinking is such a big part of our social scene that you’re not really socializing unless you have a glass/pint in your hand. What’s strange though is that if you offered someone a cigarette and they didn’t smoke, you wouldn’t try forcing them to have one, but that’s what happens when you don’t drink alcohol. I know it’s well-meaning, but trust me I’m happy not drinking, and I’m happy for you to continue drinking in front of me…it really isn’t a problem. But it then leads to “Why don’t you drink?” and they’re not happy being brushed off with a small answer like health, they want to know everything.

So I told. I started off by simply saying that I’m trying for a baby, but that leads to “Oh you can have a couple, it won’t do any harm” which then leads to my explaining that we’ve been trying for years and have had IVF etc….but then they start putting their thinking caps on and start telling me “what you need to do is relax/go away for a weekend/I knew a woman once who did *this* and she got pregnant immediately/eat more bananas/etc.. etc.. etc..” then I want to say “yes I know all this!!!!!!” But I don’t because that’s just rude.

I actually think it’s wonderful that a conversation flowed after I was so open with a topic that most still keep very quiet, and what I have found is that people are actually quite interested. They also want to help; they search their memories for any useful tip they may have once read on getting pregnant just to pass on to me. I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable because I’m so open about a sensitive subject, but I’m pleased with how I conversed with others on infertility and how they did to me in return. Basically I had a wonderful evening with no worries, and I could be myself and have fun.

On another note, I am now 6 days into the 2WW and all is still fine. I do have some symptoms BUT symptoms come from the drugs or an impending period as well as from a possible pregnancy and I’m very aware of that so my feet are firmly on the ground still.

Honest.

2WW : 3 days in and all’s well

I know it’s only been three days but if you’ve ever gone through a 2WW (the two week wait before you can take a pregnancy test to see if your attempt worked) you will know that every day is excruciating! It’s like being 5 years old and waiting for Christmas to arrive, except there’s a strong chance that you may be getting a lump of coal instead of presents. I am actually doing very well and although I, understandably, have nothing exciting to report yet, I think I’m coping ok 🙂

Knowing that so many people are wishing us good luck and sending their positive vibes, is a huge thing; makes me very humble. My lovely donor friend is excited for us too and I love that we can talk about it together. Today she told me that she couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to help somebody out if they could, and that it’s the same as organ donating or giving blood. She is truly one in a million!

I can really appreciate that this isn’t just a journey to get a baby. There are so many little excursions along the way, and all of them are soul nourishing! Life is full of hope and happiness; it’s not about being lucky enough to find it, it’s about being clever enough to recognise it.

The Two Week wait commences!

Just a quick little post to say that the transfer went perfectly, much to my joy!

Both the embryos/Potentials survived the thaw and we had them both popped in. The process itself was the least painful one I’ve ever had! For those who are unfamiliar with the transfer process it’s similar to a smear test, and the pain varies in my experience. You know how some days your smear test nurse just can’t quite seem to get the job done and it starts making your eyes smart? Well that’s as bad as a transfer can get, so in reality nothing to be afraid of. Us women are good at manning up (says she who was shitting herself all day!)

I’ve been given my instructions (no shellfish, no alcohol/fags, glass of milk daily, at least 2 litres of water daily, no marathon running or weight lifting) and my drugs (aspirin, steroid tablets and progesterone suppositories). My clinic has made a little change to the suppositories this time round…..they’re not going in the same place as before! This is a sensitive subject and I’m conscious that some work colleagues read my blog and may never be able to look at me quite the same ever again if I go into too much detail here. So I’ll just say that my husband thinks it’s hilarious and keeps blowing raspberries at me!

ivf

I am so going to get this…one day.

I asked the lovely Annette (our nurse/fertility expert) today what the situation was with my taking herbal supplements now? A very in-depth conversation followed where she explained that nothing has actually been scientifically proven that supplements/acupuncture/etc.. has increased pregnancies. Now this is something that I agree with and I’ve always viewed meditation and acupuncture as something for the woman, as opposed to creating a pregnancy. And my research into supplements has shown me how complex this field is and how you really shouldn’t chuck tablets down your neck just  because it’s the latest feature article in a Health magazine. Subsequently the tablets I chose to take were quite basic, all round good supplements that would benefit my whole body. I steered away from things like Agnes Castus for example, as I didn’t feel knowledgeable enough to know that I was doing the right thing (Agnus Castus is a supplement that you take for 2 weeks then stay off it for 2 weeks during your cycle, so quite specific, and there is conflicting advice on whether you can take it when pregnant or not). At least this is my thought process, I completely accept and respect that others have differing views on this, I was just trying to help myself as much as possible. Interestingly though, Annette explained that supplements can be quite potent and could interfere with the drugs the clinic provide for example. This is proven with St John’s Wort which can interfere with chemotherapy (http://www.bmj.com/content/325/7362/460.4). So I am now off my supplements. This is a fascinating topic though and please do reply with your thoughts and opinions.

So anyway, I am now officially in the Two Week Wait zone and can do pretty much nothing until I’m allowed to take a pregnancy test. I have no doubt that the time will drag by so I’m going to try to keep myself really busy (but not stressed). I’m helping my Mother-in-Law out with her cake making business and we have our first Wedding Fayre to exhibit at this Sunday! I’ve been making wedding favours and cup cakes by the tonne, trying to find that perfect, original and unique ‘idea’ that will make us our millions 🙂 Her website is www.cakesbymariepike.co.uk if you want to see how great she is. I digress….sorry.

I have (controversially I’m sure) already been conversing with my Potentials and making sure they’re settling in. As soon as I knew I was pregnant with my daughter (nearly 17 years ago) I talked to her constantly, I couldn’t help it, it just seemed natural. So I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t do the same now just because the beginning is slightly different. I’m gonna go with the flow!

Embryo Transfer in …. 40 minutes!!!!! AAAARRRGHHH!!!

Good grief the nerves have hit me!!!! My stomach is all over the place! I was grumpy yesterday and I’ve been comfort eating so I’m obviously trying to suppress the ‘worries’. I tried to explain how I feel about the transfer to my husband last night…

“I feel like I’m standing on a cliff with a new set of wings. I’m about to step off the cliff and my wings will either work and I’ll fly into happiness, or they will fail and I’ll plummet to the ground. I also realise that there is more of a chance that they won’t work so that adds to the apprehension of stepping of a cliff, as if that isn’t scary enough!”

My husbands reply?

“I will be at the bottom waiting to catch you if they fail”.

HE IS A MAN IN A MILLION! LOVE HIM!

infertility

Getting excited and smiling

In 2 days I will be having our ET (Embryo Transfer)! My emotions have mainly been excitable and positive, and I do feel like a giggly teenager. Is this wise? Am I being sensible? Should I not be keeping my feet firmly on the ground and ‘not jump the gun’, after all I may not even get pregnant and if I do, I may miscarry again? Does being sensible mean I have to pull a solemn face and stifle any happy vibes?

BUGGER THAT (excuse my french)!

What benefit is there to suppressing positive, good emotions? It won’t make any difference to the outcome, what will be will be etc.. People may be concerned that as I’m so happy, it stands to reason that if anything goes wrong I will be more devastatingly upset and destroyed. Well duh?! I think those emotions are standard, but they won’t be any worse just because I’ve decided to smile more before my treatment. Why should we as humans, suppress any goodness just in case the shit hits the fan? Every day is wonderful and full of potential, so why should I stick a grey cloud over my head as ‘I might not get pregnant’ or ‘I might have another miscarriage’. How many of us do the opposite? How many walk around with beaming smiles because we’re thinking ‘I might win the lottery!’ or ‘today I might meet the love of my life!’ I think we all should do that 🙂 !!!

I get it, I really do, I know what the odds are for success and I’m under no illusions about it, but I choose to look at the odds differently. If I was not doing anything, if I was just waiting to fall pregnant, then my odds would probably be under 5%. But I am doing something!!! My odds are 40%+!!!

happy infertile

This is me after our Team won a quiz last night. Shame I can’t drink my winnings, lol.

It’s all about how you choose to look at stuff. And I for one would like to have a wonderful life, preferably with another child in it, but if not….then I still deserve to smile.

BATTLE STATIONS! Smiley face has arrived!

This morning I have been the proud receiver of a smiley face on my ovulation predictor stick! Woohoo! Have called the clinic and am booked in for Monday at 2.30pm for Embryo Transfer – DEFCON 3 AND RISING!!

ovulationMy only instructions are to make sure my bladder is full, but I’m not about to burst, I can handle that. Then I will be given Cyclogest pessaries which I’ll be taking twice a day (how delightful, but an essential supply of progesterone) and Steroid tablets (to hopefully prevent miscarrying). I have already got my Aspirin 75mg tablets (this helps with blood thinning/flow) bought and ready for Monday.

The clinic will let me know if there are any issues when defrosting The Potentials so fingers crossed they’re tough little cookies.

I am feeling really rather great about all this, despite some people finding it hard to be happy for me which I’m finding quite frustrating. I need to let that go though, as they are just concerned it will all end badly again, and they have to deal with how they feel too. I’m just glad I am a more hopeful and happy person 🙂